I just need to say that everything that could go wrong has, TWICE, in the organization of my film project. I think by the end of the weekend either my footage will be complete or my head will explode.

Really.

Location. Lights. Stock. Extras. Gels. Weather. Communication.

All these things have caused me pain in the last 12 hours. I shoot at noon tomorrow. WILL I MAINTAIN MY SANITY LONG ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY DIRECT THE DAMN THING?

I have mysterious shoulder pains, sore legs from crossing and re-crossing campus at least 10 times in one afternoon carrying various bits of equipment, a weird tension headache, and I've nearly chewed my bottom lip off. And I'm still waiting to hear from different people about getting extras and VERY IMPORTANT blue gels to correct my idiotic choice of film stock. And, I'm still hammering out the final shooting script/figuring out the most efficient order in which to shoot the different camera set-ups (totaling 26 shots in the final shooting script).

:'(

Dear Upstairs Neighbor,

I'm really glad you found love. But the vigorous, floor-shaking sex? Not on. You are going to make the stars fall off my ceiling soon, and that is disconcerting, as they will probably fall on my nose while I'm sleeping.

Yours truly,
H

I found this on my computer this afternoon when I fired it up - the germ of what was almost a Naked Filmmaker post. It was written around 3am the previous night, and I kind of wish I had the excuse of alcohol or drugs to explain it, but no - it's 100% natural:


I’m too impatient for Netflix, so I went down to Video Americain when I was bored the other night and rented Suspicion and North & South. The first was, well, Hitchcock and therefore fun and awesome and I don’t have much to say except I was expecting the famous glowing milk to come earlier, and I kinda want to be Joan Fontaine when I grow up.

Now, North & South didn’t impress me much, at first – I was expecting more from Sandy Welch, who later adapted the most recent Jane Eyre. However, I felt like much of N&S was underdeveloped and, while it had some great shots and a fresh feel, still had some awkward fragments of oldschool (Upstairs Downstairs-TV-era) period drama clinging to it, whereas her Jane Eyre went past that and took on a life of its own. Now, I’m not above “oldschool period drama” – hell, I live for the stuff – and I did enjoy N&S for the standard fare that it is…and my, was I glad I made it through, because the last scene slew me. It slew me like no other, and that’s when I realized that if I ever, ever meet Sandy Welch in my life, the first thing I’m going to do is give her a big hug. In fact, I feel the need to express myself in poetry.

Oh, Sandy, you’re bringing sexy back:
Anyone who doesn’t believe you is a hack.
“There was a deliberate effort for Richard not to wear his cravat” –
I know your ways; you’ve got to be behind that.
Some girls love Ben, some go all over Justin
But you know the girl who loves corset bustin’.
If puffy sleeves make you go feeble
Then Sandy’s here, and she’ll enable.
But literary value her work has too –
So if you don’t like it, YOU’RE A FOO’!

I think I should go to bed now.



In the end, despite lack of sleep, I guess I decided it was wise not to put this up on a blog that potential employers read. :)

The Naked Filmmaker on Onegin, the Fiennes Family Spectacular. Singing Russians, dirty doodles, and male corsets - this movie has it made.

The Naked Filmmaker: Of Course All Europeans Have British Accents

Just when you thought it was safe...

Okay, this is the kind of thing that I thought only happens in movies.

I'd been torturing Jen by chasing her with the whipped cream she'd bought for pancakes this morning (come on, it's once a week!). Then, Jen went to get her stuff to go study in the Hut, and Adrienne was making her crack up by talking about how Patricia had spit out a whole glass of water in Jen's room this week.

So, Adrienne tells Jen to open her mouth and squirts some whipped cream into it "for the road." And Jen starts cracking up again as she heads into the kitchenette. I walk out of my room and into the kitchenette...just as JEN TURNS AROUND AND SPITS OUT THE WHIPPED CREAM.

I am covered from head to toe in Jen's spit and whipped cream. And I laughed harder than I did when my family played charades and Aunt Leslie tried to be "The Idiot."

Ever wonder what would happen if Charlotte Bronte pitched her novels to a studio producer?

The Naked Filmmaker: The Professor Goes to Hollywood


Once again, the clothes are off and snark is what's for dinner.

Only an English major would think this up:

My friend Tom named his new workout routine Operation Narcissistic Adonis.


::snerk::

Joy, my hair is short again. I couldn't take it. I'd forgotten what it was like when it was long, so I tried growing it out, and in the end I learned why I'd cut it all off in the first place - MY HAIR GIVES ME THE CRAZY. Plus, I think a shorter cut just suits me better.

Mom and I went shopping for spring clothes, and I picked up a bunch of new shirts. One of them is blue with little owls all over - it brings on the happy. On the train home a week ago (wow, spring break went fast) Tom and I watched The Sword in the Stone on his computer. As soon as I saw this shirt, I thought, "He's Archimedes, a very educated owl." All I need are huge horn-rimmed glasses and a fat book to complete the look. Actually, I already have one or two very fat books. And seeing as more and more of my collection migrates to school with me each time I go back, and the print gets progressively smaller, in twenty or so years those glasses will come in handy - and I'll have built myself a book house!

I emerge from journalling AWOL with a piece of snark. And yes, it's Jane Eyre geekage. Of an extraordinary sort.

See, I'm not above watching fanvids. Really, folks, in case you haven't noticed, I seriously lack taste. If I like something, I will milk it for every pixel's worth of viewing pleasure, up to and including ridiculous remixes of very familiar footage to a tune. And really, they're not always terrible. Some of them are hi-larious. And sometimes, they're even intentionally so.

I just don't understand making fanvids of period pieces. A lot of it has to do with the obvious clash between the modern music and the historical setting. Especially when the fanvid uses footage of long dialog scenes, stripped of the soundtrack so all you see is their mouths flapping. Now, the BBC ad for the latest Jane Eyre used modern music, but it worked because it was short and dialog was included - and it does what an ad is supposed to do, it throws out juicy bits so you want to see more, and the music adds to that.

Unfortunately, out of morbid curiosity surrounding the obscene number of Jane Eyre fanvids flooding YouTube - and after chickening out once - I watched The Seduction of Jane Eyre, one of those ambitious fanvids that tries to make a point - this one being that Jane and Rochester did the nasty-nasty before she left Thornfield. I didn't think the music was too mind-bendy for me to handle - I've loved Massive Attack's "Angel" since the first time I heard it on the Snatch soundtrack. And despite the utter weirdness of listening to it while watching Toby Stephens broadcast that "tortured rake" smile, I have to give a gold star to the fan creator for good editing. There weren't many stripped-dialog scenes, and the action was always smoothly cut at natural points, while holding the music's beat...after all, editing is difficult, time-consuming and requires skill, perhaps especially so when you're trying to take something that already exists and turn it into something else.

On that subject...so, you take every single kissing scene in that miniseries. Now, string them together and strobe on your most suggestive choice. OMG, HOW DID I NOT SEE IT BEFORE? THERE'S TOTALLY SEX THERE! Actually, a little piece of me died inside.

Okay, that was mean. But the thing is, I think a lot of fan fiction and fanvids spring from the desire to see sexual tension that is not resolved in the original work get its screen/page time. Alright, sometimes it centers around a couple that ultimately end up together, but don't get that WOO BIG KISSY moment (the hordes of Pride and Prejudice spin-offs pre-Knightly/Macfadyen?).

Maybe I'm too much of a hopeless romantic to go in for the pure-porn impulse, but, uh...aren't things sometimes resolved enough? Maybe not in previous adaptations, but in this one it's pretty obvious that Jane and Rochester are going to get married and have lots of passionate blind sex. In fact, they practically get started for you right there. I don't look down my nose people who fantasize about that kind of thing, but to go to all that effort to "prove" something that's already been satisfied by the story? Seems kind of redundant.


But if you're still stuck on YouTube looking for something to waste time, check this out. These kids don't get a gold star for production value, but they do get 12 million points for bad Monty Python accents, minus 11 million for pointless minutes spent watching Bertha sit and be crazy (in fact, just start it at 2:00). The Real Ending of Jane Eyre: "Help yourself. I can't exactly see the tea." Be sure to read the explanation, too. Of course a bunch of guys would make this.

Oh, a dilemma.

Once again I am tempted to sign up to crew on a team for the 48 Hour Film Fest in DC this spring. Last time I had to back out because of school conflicts, but this year I only have one class with a formal final exam, and if I organize myself better ahead of time, I shouldn't have too much to worry about during the exam period itself...I just need to make sure the dates don't directly conflict with anything. Plus, I've built up even more skills than I had last year...I'm pretty confident I could aim for a camera or editing position on a team (instead of gofer-ing) and I have the portfolio to back it up...and it would be just a neat networking/fun/educational experience.

Problems: no more brother in DC, in whose apartment I can crash. Though the whole point of this project is to work around the clock anyway...and it's not unheard of for team members to crash on couches wherever the writing/editing is going on.

No car. I can't tote stuff for people and that's a big part of getting better positions on teams. Any team meetings mean scheduling MARC rides around classes. And I can't location scout, which will probably hurt my chances at working a camera for team - they'll want their cameraman to see the locations before the project starts.

Advantages: I'm now pretty good (and VERY fast) shooting on 16mm. And I'm staying active with digital production by shooting student events. I have a bigger, better portfolio and more skills in editing, lighting and sound, too. I think I could get a good position on a team, one that would be worth the investment of time.

It's a great way to meet other filmmakers and network. Possibly door-opening if you know how to work it right.

OMG SO MUCH FUN.

Mostly that last one, really :)


Well, registration starts Thursday, and that's just for unique teams, so registered teams won't be looking for additional crew probably until a day or two after that. I have some time to check my schedule, plan my exam period, and see if I can manage it...